Redefining Imperfection, Overcoming Perfectionism

One of the most important skills I learned from tutoring and teaching was asking the right questions. This requires us to dig deeper, but when the focus is on us, we may realize that we may our limiting beliefs can lead us astray.

This was the case last week as I thought about my perfectionism. I took a moment to sit with the fact that my perfectionism was becoming overwhelming and anxiety inducing. I thought about how perfectionism tends to lead us to ask “what is missing?” as if finding our own faults. When we find a mistake, it becomes a sign of our failure.

Yes, I have heard it; you have heard it; we all have heard it. All the cliches of “just do it”, “imperfectly perfect”, “nobody is perfect”, and so on . . . Frankly, it doesn’t help. Likely because, as cliches, they have lost their meaning. It doesn’t change the initial sense of failure.

“What am I missing?” becomes “How did I miss that”. We are blinded by our need for the unattainable and in the process lose sight of the real question we should be asking: “What am I missing out on because of this [perfectionism]?” Asking the right questions leads to the right answers. Here are the realizations I made by asking the right question.

Perfectionism Kills Creativity

Creativity is one of the things I value most in life. It has given us great pieces of art, great innovations, and has likely helped us most days of our lives as we encounter problems that require our creative thinking for solutions. Also, as a creative writer, I know my creativity is one of my most important assets as is for any other creative.

Yet, when we are concern with perfectionism, we are in the process of killing creativity. This happens two-fold.

For one, perfectionism increases stress, leads to burnout, and lowers motivation. Regardless of the tool of choice, the creative relies on their mind. The increase of stress, fatigue, and lack of motivation leave the creative mind with little to no reserves. Creativity has left the building. A tired mind cannot imagine, cannot create.

On another note, perfectionism leaves no room for improvement. Imagine achieving perfection. What comes after? Perfection leaves you without room for exploration, a major ingredient in creativity. It stands, then, to reason that imperfection is not a fault.

Imperfection is the opportunity to experiment and be creative.

This leads me to the next realization. . .

Perfectionism Can Be Akin to Death

If perfectionism halts movement, then imperfection is dynamic in that it allows us to continue growing and improving.

As I pondered on my relationship to perfectionism, I remembered what one of my mentees told me about life: life is dynamic. As a physiology major, they told me how life is defined by the processes that keep the body moving. If life is defined by these processes that allow our organs to continue functioning then death can be seen as the event when these processes not longer sustain our organs.

This made me think about the many ways perfectionism causes us to stall. How much of our life have we put on hold because of perfectionism, and in doing so, how have we contributed to killing what gives us life? In other words, how many ideas, projects, passions have we allowed to die because of perfectionism? To live life fully then, we need to focus on our growth rather than perfectionism.

Growth is better than Perfectionism because it is dynamic: it is life.

What are you Missing Out On?

I am aware that these ideas are not new. However, in asking myself what I am missing out on when I hyper-focus on perfectionism, I was able to rewrite the truisms about perfectionism in a way that aligned with my values and integrated previous knowledge. The statements became my own.

If you are a perfectionist, I ask: What are you missing out on because of your perfectionism?